One Small Step Can Change Your Life
This podcast is an exciting one that most people will find counter intuitive as well as enlightening and liberating… because the subject matter will free you from some of the most stressful misconceptions we have today… I won’t spoil the secret… but I will tell you that you are so much closer to your goals and ideals than you ever thought you were. You can unleash this potent force in your life as well as in your children’s, achieving great and lifelong successes through small, steady steps.
This pod-cast will introduce you to one of the world’s foremost thinkers and experts on the science and art of personal success… Dr. Robert Maurer.
Dr. Maurer has appeared on ABC/TV’s “20/20″, USA TODAY and the LA Times regarding his work on Conflict Resolution, Creativity and Lasting Success. He is the author of the best-selling book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life… Bob is the Associate Clinical Professor at the UCLA School of Medicine and a behavioral health instructor. Through his consulting firm, “The Science of Excellence” he travels extensively consulting with businesses, organizations and even the British government.
LISTEN HERE
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Charging uphill: When people want to make a change they usually first turn to innovation. Although you may think of innovation as type of creative breakthrough, Dr. Maurer uses the term as it’s defined in business schools, where the vocabulary of success and change is highly specific. According to this definition innovation is a drastic process of change. Ideally it occurs in a very short period of time, yielding a dramatic turnaround. Innovation is fast, big and sexy; it reaches for the largest result in the smallest amount of time.
And although we’re hearing the business school characterization; most people think about innovation and Big, Fast, Change applying to their own lives; whether it’s losing weight, making more money or changing personal habits. Similarities can be made between innovation as characterized here and our cultural quest for instant gratification. One of the most dangerous and damaging concepts we teach our kids.
Success usually involves change, and change is frightening; and our fear is inevitable in fact, it is a physiological truth, rooted in the amygdala – the mid-section of our brain. The amygdala is absolutely vital for our survival… it controls the fight – or – flight response.
This alarm system is a great asset for you to have, especially when real danger is present, like coming around a corner and seeing a city bus bearing down on you. You don’t want to take time to reason out an appropriate response – you want to react quickly and that’s what the amygdala does. It instantly shuts down all non-essential functions, such as digestion, sexual desire and, higher brain function and puts you into action – get out of the way!
As great as the fight or flight reaction is it has a big disadvantage; whenever we break from our normal routines or habits the amygdala’s alarm goes off. Anytime we attempt to do something new, even the thought of it will trigger some degree of fear. Whether its meeting someone new or trying a new jogging path we are alerted to “avoid if possible and prepare for action.”
The interesting thing is that we adults believe that if we are living life correctly, we can control the events around us. Children have no such illusion; they know they can only control themselves and not the world around them. For adults then, we have invented “conditions” and “names” for our lack of control… the modern medical terms for the feeling of no control is stress or anxiety or some type of disorder… but for generations it went by the old, familiar name of FEAR.
When we make assumptions that a “successful,” “correct life” or our “real life” is absent of fear we begin to grasp at straws and look for short term fixes, and avoid confronting it directly. In our “real life” when fear does appear, it seems wrong – so we call it names. Fear then becomes a disorder, something to put in a box with a tidy label of “stress” or “anxiety.” As Dr. Maurer put it, “This approach to fear is unproductive. If your expectation is that a well-run life should always be orderly, you are setting yourself up for panic and defeat. If you assume that a job or relationship or health goal is supposed to be easy, you will feel angry and confused when fear arises – and you’ll do anything to make it disappear.”
Looking at the most successful people you find that they are the people who gaze at fear unblinkingly. They acknowledge and speak openly about their fears. As Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric put it: “Everyone who is running something goes home at night and wrestles with the same fear: Am I going to be the one who blows this place up?” Or Lance Armstrong who said, “Fear is a priceless education.” These are people who don’t try and hide it, or rename it or classify fear in some nonthreatening way; its reality so they deal with it.
In times of difficulty, remember that fear is the body’s gift, alerting us to a challenge. The more we care about something, the more we dream, the more fear shows up. During the rough patches, understanding that fear is a normal, and natural sign of ambition, makes us more likely to hold on to hope and optimism – qualities that increase our willingness to take the kinds of small steps that slip right past fear.
Dr. Robert Maurer’s book is One Small Step Can Change Your Life; The Kaizen Way, and it shows us how close we really are to our goals and aspirations, we are all so much closer than we think we are. It also shows us how children are wired for success because they don’t fear failure and are willing to take each small step along to reach the next milestone. The challenge for parents then is how do we encourage children to keep taking risks and temper that adventure with a reasoned, self-disciplined approach to life?
Mindset
Dr. Maurer also references one of my favorite people on the subject of raising children Dr. Carol Dweck and her book Mindset. Her book is an excellent source for parents who want to keep their children in a growth mindset, always learning and looking forward to new challenges.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I would like to praise the creator of this blog for his work! Great posts, cute design and frequent updates! Keep up the good work!
Thank you Ketty. Anything specific you would like to see more of?
JD Nichol