Bring Out The Best in You & Your Kids

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Carol Dweck

The 7 Most Dangerous Parenting Myths

Start with 127 great achievers, historic and contemporary; examine how their parents raised them and you’ll find how they were not concerned with self-esteem, grades, tolerance, order, positive thinking, convention or being meek and acceptable. The parents of great achievers were focused on much bigger things for their children. The research revealed the 7 most dangerous parenting myths that today are accepted, aspired to and widely practiced.

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The Myth of Self-Esteem – Seven Dangerous Parenting Myths

The Myth of Self-Esteem was created to mask the trend of failing test scores, literacy and job preparation in the late 60s and 70s. Renowned psychologist Albert Ellis and author of The Myth of Self-Esteem has openly criticized the self-esteem movement as “self-defeating and ultimately destructive.” According to Ellis a healthier alternative to self-esteem is unconditional self-acceptance or as Napoleon Hill called it “accurate thinking.” Children with an illusion of self-efficacy are over 90 percent more likely engage in destructive behavior; become drug addicts, alcoholics, or criminals of various degrees.

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Kids Motivation = Interest + Action + Feedback

With each recession and series of downsizes the demand for US based jobs comes back more slowly. This will make our children’s currently levels of competence less marketable in their adulthood. I realize this is a heavy subject if you’re thinking about your 6 year old’s (or 16 year old’s) future, but I write this [...]

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3 Steps to Motivating Kids & 7 Foundations

Motivating kids to want something beyond a Happy Meal, the latest video game, or beyond their basic needs and comforts involves three key factors to be present: (A) self-interest, [hint you can guide their self-interests] (B) a destination, product or goal, and (C) feedback. The feedback can be self generated, from a parent or teacher [...]

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Myth of the Gifted

Mythology depicts gods with certain abilities and weaknesses; excellent at commanding the forces of the sea but forbidden to dwell on land, the ability to turn a man to stone and ugly enough to do it. It all goes a long way toward convincing us that talent exist in some and not others. It goes [...]

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The Miracle Question

The Miracle Question: “Imagine that in the middle of the night, while you are sleeping, a miracle happens, and all the troubles you went to sleep with are resolved. When you wake up in the morning, how will you know?” If the troubles you think of are related to your kids or your parenting skills, [...]

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Middle School Motivation Melt-Down

In grade school kids are typically in a low-key environment. The work they do is carefully paced, steady but not too challenging. Teachers keep children moving forward without failing them, there are goals and scores but for the most part children aren’t graded. Then they advance to middle school and everything changes. The work becomes [...]

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Mommy, Am I Smart Enough?

In any system we need to measure outputs. Find and account for resources and weigh our stock against others. The idea that we need to measure things like intelligence is a need to find out how we compare to others. We start to concern ourselves with how smart our children are from a very early [...]

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What’s So Great About Failure [Part III of III]

DOGGED PERSISTENCE A continuation from yesterdays “What’s So Great About Failure Part II”. Is it always best to persist? Not necessarily. There is a cost to benefit ratio in everything we do. Mastery-oriented responses push beyond the initial resistance of the challenge and usually get better results. It isn’t uncommon for even mastery-oriented mindsets to [...]

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What’s So Great About Failure? [Part II of III]

HELPLESS RESPONSE PATTERN A continuation of “What’s So Great About Failure Part I.” How to keep your kids motivated. This group of kids not only gave up, but they didn’t even try, they met with uncertainly and condemned their abilities rather than attempting something difficult. It was noted that the children that gave up, did [...]

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